Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.I’m normally a bit of a cynic– but when it comes to Christmas, I embrace the whole thing enthusiastically. So what if it’s all a capitalist conspiracy to get your money? It’s winter, it’s cold and wet– and people need to have some fun.
When it comes to those you love, I think it’s important to put a lot of thought into the presents you get them (but always keep the receipt just in case).
Inevitably, we also need to get presents for people that we don’t particularly like. We normally just give them something crap like Socks or Lotto Scratchcards. Instead of that, why not put some thought into what you buy for the ones you don’t like and get them something spectacularly awful instead?
Whether you love them or hate them, find out their interests and buy something brilliant– or something bloody awful– depending on whether you like them or not!
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If you love them:Bulletproof Coffin Vol 1 and Vol 2 ($35.98). Probably my favourite comic book of the last year or two. Batshit crazy fun from Hine and Kane– courtesy of Image Comics.
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Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you hate them: (Insert any recent Bendis or Millar comic here). OK, if you press me– then Kick-Ass 2 ($19.99) or Nemesis ($14.99)… I can’t decide which one is more reprehensible.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you love them:Prisoner of Heaven by Carlos Ruiz Zafon ($25.99). The book of the year in my opinion. Zafon writes some of the most beautiful prose I’ve ever seen.
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Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you hate them:The Twilight Saga Complete Collection (Hardcovers) by Stephanie Meyer. If you really hate them, don’t just buy them one awful book, buy them all four! ($97.00)
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you hate them:Roundabouts of Great Britain by Kevin Beresford ($1.00 plus shipping). Possibly the dullest book ever that isn’t about Economics, Philosophy or IT.
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Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you love them:Fourth Doctor Scarf ($15.99). A piece of genre clothing that looks good, is practical and doesn’t instantly mark someone out as a fucking loser, result!
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Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you hate them:Star Wars Ewok Fleece Hat ($25.99). A piece of genre clothing that looks awful, is impractical and instantly marks your enemy out as a fucking loser, result!
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you love them:Kotobukiya DC Comics Wonder Woman Bishoujo Statue ($65.46). A wonderful statue that captures the essence of Wonder Woman and looks great without being sleazy.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you hate them:Monster Heaven Dream Gila Figure ($99.99). Make sure you visit the person that you dislike and insist that they display this prominently, have fun watching them squirm because of its ugliness.
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Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you love them:Expose 10 ($79.99). The latest edition of the best artbook being published today. Simply gorgeous.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you hate them:Greg Land Sketchbook ($34.59). If you don’t want to spend that much– you can just trace a bunch of pictures out of old issues of Playboy and Penthouse and give them to your unliked one. (Same Result.)
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
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Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you love them:The Quarter After – Changes Near ($16.31). 60-odd minutes of blissed out California Psychedelic Pop– definitive aural candy.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you hate them:Jedward – Victory CD ($24.99). The aural equivalent of explosive diarrohea.
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Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you love them:James Bond – 22 Film Collection [Blu-ray (£89.99). A phenomenal box set of films. The US Amazon price is ridiculous– it’s much cheaper on Amazon UK.Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you hate them:Zombie Babies DVD ($12.99). Aborted foetuses come back as zombies and attack their parents… This should repulse both Republicans and Democrats!
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Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you love them:Luis Royo – Dead Moon Portfolio ($19.39). TWELVE framable prints of Luis Royo goodness for less than 20 bucks? Nice!Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you hate them:POG Classic Game ($27.95). Watch them grimace at receiving this pointless crap!
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Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you love them:Smirnoff Vodka ($24.99). Everyone likes vodka… And if they don’t, why do you speak to them?Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.If you hate them:Advocaat ($24.99). If you don’t realise how disgusting this drink is, then you’ve never drunk it. Creme de Menthe is a good revolting alternative if you can’t find Advocaat.
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I’m normally a bit of a cynic– but when it comes to Christmas, I embrace the whole thing enthusiastically. So what if it’s all a capitalist conspiracy to get your money? It’s winter, it’s cold and wet– and people need to have some fun. If you hate them: (Insert any recent Bendis or Millar comic here). OK, if you press me– then Kick-Ass 2 ($19.99) or Nemesis ($14.99)… I can’t decide which one is more reprehensible.
Image may be NSFW.